SI

i don’t know where to start. i’m only 19, but it feels like i’ve lived enough joy and sadness for three lifetimes.

everything started when i went to london at 14. 14 was a hard age for me. that’s why it has always stayed in my mind as an unlucky number. back then, i used to think, “when i love someone deeply but can’t be with them, everything feels meaningless.” now, looking back, i see that i was too hard on myself and on the people around me.

but i’m better now. since that time, i’ve been trying to take better care of myself. a lot has changed since january 16. i feel like time is passing quickly, but it also reminds me of the value of life.

today, i made my own decisions and took a step forward. even though i don’t feel things as intensely as before, my heart still gets attached easily. maybe that’s just my nature, maybe it’s what makes me who i am.